xiaomay

2009-11-22T20:22:00.002+08:00

My mood is getting worse...
I totally lost faith in myself.
I want to continue to believe that I could make it, but I wonder how to do it.
God, please give me the strength to carry on...

Time is really running out.
I only leave with a week for my exam and career. I really hope my dream can come true...
I just need a little bit more of push in me...

2009-11-19T17:06:00.002+08:00

As we lie on the ground, having the sky as our blankets...
At that moment, I was glad that you were right beside me. This was my first time watching a meteor rain. :)

5 shooting stars shot across the dark sky and there was only one wish I ever made.

I hope that's enough...

2009-11-16T23:12:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow... there is a meteor rain and till now, 21 years... I have not see any meteor at all.

How much I wish I can watch it tomorrow with someone that is already in my mind?

How much I wish miracle will happen once again...

God, may you let my dream comes true...

2009-11-11T02:25:00.001+08:00

Why my mind keeps on thinking about you?

2009-08-22T00:58:00.002+08:00

School has just started and my workloads have piled up like a small mountain which I sometimes wonder when am I going to finish the endless works in my hands. Week 1 has just ended and I'm still not prepared for school. I feel myself hard to cope with it, maybe is because my heart is not with me but somewhere.

I got to read this short story from somewhere and somehow it reflects my feeling that I have all this while. Sometimes, I think myself dumb, why am I holding on... but I realise I'm not holding on to it

I realise I just feel the same way for him when the 1st time I ever saw him, the guy who came late for the class and went off early. The first impression of this guy: Irresponsible! However, this was also why I have a deep impression of him. I know some people may think this kind of thing will not exist in this real world, but I still believe in it - Loving someone at First Sight. I did fall in love with him when I first saw him and I always think the way we get to know each other is different from other because we fall in love in a foregin land. That's why, it motivates me to even treasure this relationship even more because I thought God has specially arranged this great gift for me after hurting myself so much in my previous one. I thanks God every night I slept because to me, you are the greatest gift that ever given to me by God. But somehow it got taken away.

I can't deny it. My eyes just can't fall on any other guys. I tried but ended up, I failed. Loving someone is not by having him by your side, it means by giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful rish to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity... and that is love.

Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart.
Only love can make you cry and only love knows why.
Only love can make you stare in blank, wondering why am I here without you by my side,
Only love can make you realise how meaningless your life can be, without someone that special in your life to walk with.

2009-08-03T11:33:00.007+08:00

Yesterday, I couldn't sleep, memories flashed back on my mind.... I thought I have totally forgotten about him but I didn't. Memories of him just came back, one image by another... and slowly it made my heart turn sour. The tears dropped down gently on my cheeks. I felt the warmth of the water on my face.

Why?

Why the memories of him still lingered on my mind? I thought I have forgotten about him but in the end, I just realised that I still do miss him. Maybe this is no longer concerned for him, that he doesn't bother anymore... I know I have to move on, i have tried but I failed. I wished that I will be alittle heartless, at least I won't feel so heart pains now... at least I will live for the better and forget someone's lies and causing me pain.

No matter what, I wish you all the best and do well in everything you do... The memories will always stay with me, deep down in my heart.

Unforgotten...

2009-06-28T18:45:00.001+08:00

Finally I realise

I need to move on and...
I will move on

2009-05-25T22:03:00.002+08:00

Today I have made a difficult decision that I don't even know if I'm doing the right thing...
Letting someone to go is never an easy task to do... and I feel myself suffocating and breathless as I know I have to draw away from you... All the wonderful memories that we once have, seem blur to me now. I wish that I can rewrite the past and hope everything will be fine but I know I'm just bluffing myself again. Seriously, till now, I still love you as much as the day we left each other. I know is different for you, I'm longing for the same old idiot that I used to know in Beijing, the one that I once put the scarf around his neck and putting my cold hand into his jacket.

Where is he...? God, please return him to me now...

I beg.

2009-05-19T23:17:00.002+08:00

There are so many movies that I want to watch but I don't know who to find to accompany to watch these movies.... Maybe I shall buy the tickets and watch alone? People might think that I must be some loner who come alone. But I don't like to watch movie alone, there is no one you can chat with along the movie, no one to hug you when there are scary moment, no one can give you tissue when the sad moment and definitely no one can laugh together with you when the moment are sweet and happy :)

Therefore, should I watch the movies alone... Hmmm.... wondering...

I feel like watching "Night at the Museum" on this weekend friday but who should I find?

Or maybe alone?

Will this be the best solution?

2009-05-10T12:22:00.002+08:00

I'm suffering from love sick now...
No matter where I'm gone or what I'm doing...
You're always on my mind... Thinking of what you are doing at the other side of the world. Why does loving someone is so hard? Now then I understand that being loved is more fortunate and happier than you love someone.

下雨天了怎么办我好想你
不敢打给你我找不到原因
什么失眠的声音
变得好熟悉
沉默的场景做你的代替

期待让人越来越沉溺
有谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞一个人擦泪
一个人好累

Love or Happiness.... is it impossible to have both side of the world to be together? Or is it only with me that you can either choose one? When you are with someone you loved, is the most happiest thing in the world, because you know that at that moment the whole world is being to both of you, only you and me... If I have a choice to choose, I would choose someone that I loved because I know that I can only find my true happiness in the one that I loved.

2009-05-05T22:20:00.000+08:00

I have a very bad dream last night. I dreamt that I really lost you and I cried very badly till I felt the warm on my cheeks. I was awaked by the dream, finding myself in tears…. I don’t know, maybe in real life I thought I could give up on you but I’m self-denying. The one in my dream is the truth me, the one would never lie.

I was wondering if you were just like me, whenever I am not happy, feeling sad or lonely, need someone to talk to… I would always come here, to write all my emotions into this blog. The only way to get myself out… Are you doing the same thing as me? Are you writing down how you feel all the while? Did you touch our diary from the day that I pass it to you?

2009-05-03T21:53:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow starts work and I don't have the heart to go at all.
Is no longer like last time, where I would always look forward to having lunch with someone during my break. But now, is all by myself... eating alone, without the laughter and accompany by someone. I miss that...

I wonder why sometimes both person can speak the same minds even though they are different entity. But it really made me smile to myself at that very moment. It just so mystery and surprising that both people speak the same word or one knows the other person's thinking.

Hope tomorrow will be a good start for everyone after a LONG weekend~

2009-05-02T11:58:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a wonderful night for me... I don't know why, but whenever you are around me, I feel a sense of comfort and security. Something that I don't need to worry at all. You say I changes, but I don't know... there are more to discover and more to explore someone. I really wish to know you more. Every single day with you is like a mystery to me. What kind a people you are to me? I wonder...

I love you once a lot... but now you should know you have a special place in my heart... Knowing how much I love you is no longer important because you're already imprinted in my heart.

If I don't ever mention your name, is not that I forget you...
Is just that some thing don't need to be mention
If I don't ever call you, is not that I forget you...
Is just that I'm right here waiting for you
If I don't ever see you again, is not that I forget you...
Is just that you are always stay in my heart <3

Everything needs time to change... and I need time to change myself.
I wonder if...
Time would be given to me to change
I wonder if...
You would ever give me a chance to change myself
I wonder if...
Would you wait for me no matter how long is it?

I just wonder... ... ...

2009-04-30T14:32:00.003+08:00

I just want to tell you that you always have a special place in my heart <3

I mean it...

2009-04-26T13:24:00.002+08:00

I'm always trying my best to forget about you, don't wish to think about you...
But I know the harder I try, the deeper that you have gone into my heart.
Yesterday was a foolish day of my life... making a fool out of myself...
But I just couldn't control my emotion... only when I realised that I still love you deep down in my heart. I know I have to let go, for the better of myself. But I know I can't. I couldn't bear the thought of putting you off my mind... I'm scare of having the thought of not having you with me.
Would you have the same thought as me?
Do you still miss me as much I miss you every single moment of not having with you?

2009-04-23T14:01:00.002+08:00

Last few days, I would like to frequent my blog, listening to the same old song on my blog
which I would never feel sick of listening to...
How much I wish I could tell you that I still miss you and still hold the feeling for you...
But the words just couldn't come out from my mouth and I know that the words that I say, have no longer hold any meaning to you...

Thing has changed a lot for me over the past one month...
From lover to friend, from friend and slowly becomes stranger...
Would we able to be like last time, where there is nothing we could not talk about...
The nights we spent on the phone, the days we spent holding on to each other
How much I wish there will be miracles when you believe...

When will we meet each other again?

2009-04-21T10:57:00.003+08:00

Is it easy to erase someone from your memories and don't wanna think of it anymore?
Is there any pill to eat and you will forget about someone?
If ever give me a chance to do everything all over again, will thing be the same?
Or will it just be another piece of history that repeats itself again...

Night and night, I thought I would able to forget about you... Don't wanna have you in my mind at all. But I know the hardest I tried, the worse I get. Everyone is around me, encourage me to move on but why am I so stubborn and reluctant to. Because I knew that we have too much memories together which is hard for me to erase, if ever there is a chance for me to erase you from my memories, I think it will take my this whole life time to forget you.

Is it possible for someone to wait for the other person for his/her life time? Is it possible from love becomes hatred? Is it possible for me to forget about you, no matter how bad you're to me?

I know that only time can tell all the truth...

2009-04-18T22:56:00.002+08:00

难道要等到失去了，才懂着珍惜，才懂得没有你的日子是那么的难过，那么无聊。
我知道如果要你幸福，就要懂得放手，懂得为你的好。
我不会再留住你。。。因为我要你好，所以我会学着放开你的手。
如果有一天，你的天空是那么的黑，那么的暗。。。我会在你的身旁守护着你。
陪着你笑，陪着你哭。。。我会永远是你的守护天使。。。

2009-04-14T09:33:00.001+08:00

How much I hope that I can wish you 'Happy 1 year and 2 monthsary, my baobei.'
But when will this day comes... always missing you in my heart, you may not see it because it is already buried deep down in my <3

2009-04-11T14:40:00.003+08:00

I wish you will be here by my side with me...
This is the 2nd Saturday that I feel lonely without you...
Another 3 more days and is our 1 year, 2 months... but it will never come...

2009-04-04T11:52:00.002+08:00

I don't know why... but I have a sleepless night yesterday.
I wake up automatically at 7.45am which we used to woke up and lazy around in bed
and preparing to go for Breakfast.
But now when I wake up, I felt around my bed, you weren't there...
Suddenly, I felt the emptiness inside my heart...
I don't know why, the days without you,
are hard pass by, the air around me are hard to breathe, I feeling myself breathless and trying to survive through.

I just know that with you, I'm completed.

2009-04-01T16:22:00.002+08:00

This song reflects the thought that was in me... At this very moment, I wish to be alone, getting away in a faraway land and forget the things around me... and eventually forget... you

Cannot touch, cannot hold, cannot be together
Cannot love, cannot kiss, cannot love each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot dream, cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel, must pretend its over
Must be brave and we must go on, must not say
What we're known all along

Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you

Bridge:
Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we're known all along

Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you
When you are gone

2009-03-30T16:31:00.004+08:00

Every times I saw him, I always have this thought in my mind and that really hurt me lot whenever I think of it. Maybe you can say that I'm a self-denial, don't want to accept the facts but I just know at this right moment my heart only has you and there is no longer have space for anyone else.

I have thought through for the past few days and really... I know I'm very bad at controlling my emotional. Whenever, I'm happy, sad, angry or moody.... everything will write clearly on my face in front of you. Only when I with you, I know I have no place to hide myself, I know that I don't need a mask to hide all my feelings away from you. Only you will understand all my feelings without telling you at all.

Exams are coming soon and I have totally no mood to sit for the battle. I don't have any strength to fight with the rest because I know that no one is beside to share with me. SO what if I win the glory, who can I tell? When I fail myself, who can I go to? These thoughts run through my mind...

No matter who are we with in the future, I just know that I have this wonderful memories of you and knowing that you have this same wonderful memories in your heart, is all I need to know...

I just wanna say, I will remember you...

I hope that things are still the same
hoping they will never change
cause what we had can't be replaced
don't let our memories fade away
keep me in your heart for always

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
stood right by me
through the tears through everything

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
no matter what you're going through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go separate ways

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
You stood right by me
through the tears through everything

If the day should come when you need someone
you know that I'll follow
I will be there
Don't ever let there
be a doubt in your mind
'cause I'll remember you

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
no matter what your going through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

Forever baby, I'll remember you

2009-03-29T21:02:00.001+08:00

Nothing is more important to me.... as long as I know that you still love me and have me in your mind and heart. And that all I need to know...

<3 U, my forever Idiot 1...

2009-03-01T14:42:00.007+08:00

Adrian: It was a wet wet day. And somebody wanted to buy a present for mummy so being a KIND, HELPFUL and GENTLEMAN, i went with her to a place called wangfujing. As soon as we left school, we had to cross the road to get to the bus stop. Like many other roads in China, there wasn't a traffic light nearby.

In Singapore I always use the traffic lights, underground passes or overhead bridges. Adrian is a law-abiding citizen okay..

But bo bian la, so have to jaywalk la hor. Immediately, i felt a tuck on my jacket at the left arm. Turning my head, i saw her hands gently pulling my jacket. Luckily it was a short road, if not my jacket would have torn. haha ;p

Anyway, we took our favourite bus (number 729) and the subway to wangfujing. Upon arrival, we had to cross another road to get to the shopping district. This time, it was more tricky. There was a traffic light, but the problem was neither did the buses nor the cabs stops on red. So there's no difference.

Before crossing the road, i told her, 'If you want to hold me, hold or lock our arms k?' The next thing i knew, the same thing happened. I thought she understood English. Fed up, I held her hands. Was it her hand or mine that was as smooth as silk that they slipped through and fitted like a jigsaw puzzle?

Till today, the mystery is not solved. I believed it was mine though.

2009-02-18T21:03:00.006+08:00

May: It has been 1 year and 3 months since we first hold hands together at 王府井 and eating 北京烤鸭.
I still remember every moment, every pictures of you and me very clearly...
Taking the bus from school to one of the subway station in town and from there, we took train all the way to 王府井's station... And while we were trying to cross the road, the flow of cars would never stop, and for me, myself, I would never know how to cross the road, always trying to tag along with someone on the sleeve and walk. I had no choice but to pull your sleeve and walk.

However, a gentle touch of your hand fall onto mine, holding my hands lightly and crossing the road. That was the first time we hold hands together. And from that moment onward, my feeling for you will never change...

I don't know why but I can tell you that I like you at the first moment I saw you, walking into the class, trying not to attract people's attentions but it caught mine... Is that called "Love at first sight"? But no matter what I'm glad that I found you.

Dear, it has been 1 year since we get together and every moments that i spent with you, i treasure and cherish it. No matter what, just remember that You will always be kept within my precious box called "Heart". I love you no matter who you are or what you become... and I want the days to last...

Holding on to you, watching sun rise and sun set...

2008-12-25T23:04:00.002+08:00

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smiling in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standing on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories

P.S. I will always remember all of you but will you all remember me always?

2008-12-09T10:49:00.003+08:00

Finally this week has come which I have been looking forward the most... because this week got two special events that are going to happen.

Firstly is his POP. Finally, someone has graduated from BMTC and 3 months have past so fast for me and you. Even though I can't be there with you today, seeing you passing out, no matter what you have to finish this last bit of your road and coming to the end of your BMTC. Goood Luck, Darling Adrian~ How much I wish I would be there to see him but he has only two tickets for his POP - 1 for his mum and the other for his dad. I'm not angry with you at all, but just disappointed I can't be there to witness you POP and taking tons of photos with you.

Secondly, we are going on a holiday from tomorrow to saturday morning to Phuket! I can't wait to go on a holiday with you. Going to the beach and go snorkelling. I'm really look forward to that. Somemore, our 10 monthsary is coming soon on Sunday. Hope to celebrate with you but I know that you may need to accompany your parents. Shall see how and plan again...

Giving you all my luck for today and All the BeSt, darling =)

2008-12-04T18:47:00.002+08:00

Finally, now is the chance for me to rest... University's footstep is really very fast that sometimes, I found its hard to breathe. Now is the opportunity for me to have FUN and ENJOY myself. =)

Just finish my examination last week and I have received back some of my results. Not bad at the moment, still manage to get the result that I want but I think I could able to do better. Nevermind, let try harder the next sem. At the meanwhile, I shall enjoy myself during this holiday. I'm always looking forward to white Christmas, with snow falling down and everywhere is snow white... too bad that Singapore doesn't snow at all.

Btw, I'm going Phuket next week with someone I love so I can really enjoy myself much over there, hope there won't be any riots happen. Let pray to the God and hope everything will be on the smooth... Finally, the holiday that I'm looking forward to, is here...

With only You and I =))

2008-11-13T00:19:00.002+08:00

Looking through some photos that my juniors took in Beijing during their attachment in BiTC, and indeed a lots of memory flashed back in my head....
Seeing and flicking through each album and each photos, made me think of the time that I once had in Beijing with all my friends that we had been through hardship...
Yes, I remember...
Don't ever think I will forget about you, forget the memory I had over there,
every moment that I had in Beijing is so memorable that I wished I could freeze the time and go back in time but I can't.
I want to go back to this place that I once familiar with... Beijing... A place that I have made truthful friends and been through funs and tears with them...
I want to be there... very soon...

2008-11-06T22:02:00.002+08:00

He has gone for outfield again for two days, won't able to talk to him for two nights until Saturday. How much I wish everything can end fast for me and you...
Exam is coming soon and Semester 1 is going to end soon and awaiting for us is a beautiful holiday with you and me on a sandy beach with no worries and troubles bothering us. No more essays, no more projects, no more sleepless nights, no more Stress...

2008-11-01T23:56:00.004+08:00

I miss your presence... Please come back to me...

2008-10-31T17:08:00.003+08:00

I start to hate myself, I start to hate school...
I spend so much of my time in school and school works...
Can you imagine I ever have to come back to school on weekends, where most of the people will go and enjoy themselves but for me, I'm struck with the school.

School life is so stressful, much more stressful when I'm in Polytechnic. Okay, I can understand that University life suppose to be more stress but it is far too STRESSFUL! In addition, exam is coming near, another 3 weeks to go... and more I'm still busying with project and haven't got time to revise my work. When I can stop complaining about school, and start to love it? I don't think I can... Never.

Btw, another 3 more days to go before I can talk to him on the phone or even seeing him, can't wait for Monday to come whereby I can hug him tight. =)
He is now the only source that can make me smile and make my life meaningful...

2008-10-29T23:16:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow will be the first day that he goes for field camp.
Everything is so rush for him and me... I'm not prepared at all for him to go, still thinking of meeting him this Saturday and have a good weekend together but now is faraway from my reach. As for him, I don't even need to say... He was packing for the last two days for the field camp which they were only told to on Monday's night itself.
5 days, I won't be able to contact him, not at all.
I think I would look at the phone, waiting for calls and sms that would never come... only until Monday's afternoon. Take care darling when you go for field camp.
Be Brave and Be a man. =)
I will be busying with my school works so don't worry about me too much.

This maybe bitter for us... but sooner we would able to taste the sweetness in it.
Am I right?
Looking forward to the day that I could able to hug you again...

2008-10-27T23:38:00.003+08:00

Another 1 more month, I will be free for 5 weeks =))
Can't wait for the Holiday to come and spend with someone special... really looking forward to it.

Btw, last Saturday, met up with nicky, prisca, chuan, alvin lee, vincent and AO.
Can you imagine sitting in the same table with all the guys having their hair being shaved?
Seriously, seeing them one by one growing up to be a man and protect the country, making me think back all the wonderful memories that we once have.
That day I really enjoyed myself indeed (after getting all the tortures from school works and sleepless nights). First, i met up with my mum, cousin, brother and dearie for lunch at crystal jade at PS. That lunch was pretty rush as all of us were rushing for the movie. My mum and cousin went to watch "Butterfly lovers" while dearie and I went for a movie "Night In Rodanthe". After all the tearing and weeping in the cinema, we met up again and went for dinner at pepper lunch.

Seriously, my whole day is packed!

After having dinner with my mum, I rushed off to meet up with the rest of my clique. It has been a long time since I last met them. It is like 2 to 3 weeks?? We indeed had a good steamboat. (I meant good is not because of the food but is the people that I'm with.) A bean curd session followed up after the steamboat. Can you imagine in that day itself, how much have I eaten? Haha... I must have gained at least 1kg but never mind... all matter to me is HAPPINESS.

Seriously, I love the people, all my closed friends, friends, cousins, family.... and lastly, of course is my darling... Adrian Tan =)) I feel very fortuned that I found all of you and really is my honored to have all of you by my side, supporting me throughout my life.

2008-10-05T17:50:00.002+08:00

Quarrels seem to increase whenever you're going back in...
I don't want to feel this way, but this feeling is always inside me.
Being troubled. Being upset. Feeling lots of things to tell you but I couldn't.
How much I want to tell you I love you and how much I wanted you to be good...
But I can't.

Darling, no matter what, I will wait for you for these 2 years.
It may appear to be a very short period of time to others,
but to me... is not.
Whenever, it comes to Sunday, my heart is getting heavier,
because I know that our time is up and there you need to go...
Letting you go away from me is never easy
that why I need to learn to grow up...

School works may seem to increase and heavier load is getting on my back,
I just wish a day of accompany by someone who is dear to me...
This is all I wish...

No matter what, I love you always... <3

2008-09-29T17:04:00.003+08:00

Now in the school library... feeling quite bored, another hour to go... before I go and catch a train and travel all the way down to meet that someone.

It has been two weeks that I last saw him.
Wondering if his hair got grow any longer
Wondering does he looks tanned now?
Wondering does he looks slimmer than before?
Wondering does he grow any muscle on him?
Wondering... wondering... wondering...

Can't wait to see him once again...

2008-09-23T18:43:00.002+08:00

Another 6 days to see him again...
I can't wait for that day to come...
Looking forwards to all the kisses and hugs

From someone special. Him.

2008-09-16T18:15:00.007+08:00

Day 1

Today is 16th September 2008, the day that he went off to BMTC. I really wish that guys don't need to serve army but I know I'm selfish... I know I can't stop it from happening. Darling... I really can't wait to see you again, I want to see a mature, tanned, smart and alert guy standing in front of me when the next time we meet, which will be in 13 days time.

Take care my boy... at the meanwhile I will try to learn to be independent at the same time. I really found myself very strong as I didn't shed a tear in front of him... don't wanting him to get worried of me...

See you Soon...

Isn't he looks weird without his hair? Slowly, I have to get used to it.
No matter what, with or without hair, you're still my Adrian Tan YiJia.

My Army Boy... Farewell~

2008-09-07T23:23:00.002+08:00

Don't wish for the day to come.
I just can't bear to let you go, disappearing from my sight.
I can't hear you no more...

My heart is becoming heavier and heavier

2008-08-27T15:19:00.029+08:00

<3>Little Honeymoon <3>

It was supposed to be a $247 deluxe room at the Amara Sanctuary & Spa Resort in the gateaway island of Sentosa.

However, it turned out differently. They bluffed us. All the rooms were booked by DBS for some staff retreat.

This was how the conversation went:

The receptionist "Sorry, all our rooms are fully booked. DBS is having their annual staff retreat."

Us "But we made the booking over 1 month ago. Is there not even an available room?"

The receptionist "Unfortunately no, so we're upgrading you to a villa for the night."

Us "What? A villa?!"

The receptionist "Yes. It costs $2000 a night. And we are putting you up there at $247."

He sounded abit reluctant to upgrade us, but we couldnt care less and kept smiling.

Off we went onto the baggie to the villa!

Yes, the number of our villa's 4.

And once you opened the door, this is the view that greeted us =)

Our very own swimming pool!!!

The biggest bed I've ever slept on

The living room

She cant stop taking photos of ~~herself~~ I mean the room

And while she's busy, I couldnt wait to get into the pool, of course!

The bathtub's outside, not in the toilet!

Cinema time, watching the lord of the rings trilogy

I almost forget, the best present i've received from her =p

But the surprise did not end there. When we came back from dinner, this tray awaited us!

I will never forget that honeymoon we had. too bad it only was one night, should have booked for more nights! nevertheless, what a way it was to spend my baby's and I 6 months together.

I love you.

2008-08-14T10:58:00.001+08:00

Happy 6th month!! =))

2008-08-01T13:49:00.002+08:00

Hey lady, you lady
cursing at your life
you'll be a discontented mother
and a regimented wife
I have no doubt
you dream about the things you never do
but I wish someone had to talk to me like I wanna talk to you

I've been to Bouna Vista and Bukit Batok and anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man
and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces
Because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

Please lady please lady
don't just walk away
Cause I have this need to tell you
why I'm alone today
I can see so much of me
still living in your eyes
won't you share a part
of a weary heart that has lived only nine lives

Oh, I've been to Khatib and Blk 867 of it
when I sipped Green Tea on a Bed
I moved to Camp 2 in Pulau Tekong showed them what I've got
I've been undressed by mates
and I've seen some things that a woman ain't suppose to see
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a liea fantasy recreated about people and places
as we like them to be
but you know what truth is?
it's that little baby you're holding
and it's that lady you fought with this morning
the same one you are gonna make love to tonight
that's truth that's love
sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children
that might have made me complete
but I, I took the sweet life
I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet

I spent my life exploring
the subtile whoaring
that cost to much to be free
hey lady I've been to paradise
but I've never been to me...

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

2008-07-25T14:58:00.025+08:00

Still another 20 days more to our 6th month Anniversary~ Another 6 days more to our freedom. There are so many places that I wish to go with you... ... Must promise me to complete the lists of places that we wrote in our diary. =))

Last Saturday, we went to Sentosa to celebrate for CHuan Lim's bday. Chuan Lim, I'm so sorry, planned to get a cake for you but in the end failed. It was very hard for me to get one. That day, we did enjoyed ourselves, played Luge 3 times... At 1st, I dont dare to take the ride, Im so scare that the car would lose control but in the end, it turned well!! Trying to knock Chuan Lim's car for a few times. At that point of time, we all looked like small children, had fun among us and forgot all the worries around us... How much I wish time would go back.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUAN LIM. (Even though is abit late, it is better than nothing at all. =p)

My Bestest Bud!

Silly Boyfriend.

Up Up the way we go..

My Counsellor, My Brother

Luges!

Racer 1: Adriano

Racer 2: May

Racer 3: Xiaowei

Racer 5: Uegene (Front)
Racer 6: Yit Jing (Back)

Racer 7: Jessica
Racer 8: Chuan Lim (Greeny)

Racer 9: Boon Kin (Not shown due to driving too fast!!)
Racer 10: Vincent (Not shown due to driving too fast!)

We <3 LUGE!

2008-07-16T10:07:00.002+08:00

Now in the office, nothing much to do now so thought of coming to my blog to blog something and I notice someone wrote something onto my blog with such a long weird name. ("Baka")

Anyway, today is our 5 months and 2 days... Since like a short period that we got together but the time to me, has indeed past very fast. Every moments that I spent with you is full with different kinds of emotions: Happy =), Sad =(, Quarrel, Jealousy -.- , Laughters =)) ... is just so much to be describe using words. I just can't wait to celebrate our 6th month together at Sentosa. Whenever I thought of that, it makes me thinks of starting school in 18th Aug. Can I dont start school so fast?? Serious, I have not prepared myself yet! Everything is just too rush. When I prepared myself of not going to school, going out to work for 1 year and here came the letter by SMU and got accepted into business school. Seriously, my feeling was mixed at that time. I dont know I should be happy for it... I just felt my heart was confused, nothing that can describe the feelings that I have at that moment.

Just celebrated my birthday two weeks ago, I'm feeling so old now... Thanks for those who celebrated for me.. Especially to Xiaowei and My darling. Thanks for trying your way to hide it and organised it together with the rest of the people. =)) *Muack*

Okay, shall go back to work already. Bye Bye.

2008-07-15T06:29:00.004+08:00

10 things I love about you:

1. the way you took care of me when i had fever.

2. the way you put your hands at the back waiting for me to hold.

3. the way you massage for me.

4. your crazy self at times.

5. the way you keep pleading for me to tell you surprises.

6. your tight and warm hugs.

7. the way you sleep. (you wont know) =p

8. the way you squeal when we kissed.

9. the way you smile and look at my eyes.

10. the way you steal my heart away.

Happy 5 months baby <3

by urs only,
Adriano Alessendro Del Piero

2008-06-15T21:31:00.002+08:00

It has been 2 days since he went to Japan... and I started to miss him so much that I couldn't stop thinking about him every moment. Another 7 days more to go before I could see him again. It is so hard for me to contact him in Japan. How much I wish he would able to reach me anytime anywhere in Japan. But he can't...

I'm always so used to have him by my side almost every single day so it is really very hard for me to cope without him around. Maybe this will be challenge for me so that I won't miss him so much when he went to army. However, anyway... I know I'm gonna miss him.

I miss his voice, I miss his presence... My mind just can't stop thinking about him... I just can't =(

2008-05-01T22:47:00.008+08:00

Every footsteps, Every pace seem to be very fast... It is so hard that sometimes I couldn't even catch up with the speed. Pounding hearts, tired legs... I don't know when will I fumble and fall down along the way. Friends... if you ever walked with me, please don't walk in front of me, guiding me. Or walking behind the way as to protect me. All I want is side by side, walking along with you to let you know that I'm will always be there for you.

Life for me now.. has become a routine. Everyday has to go to work from 8.30am to 6.00pm and reach home around 7.30pm. Watch telly, rest abit, shower and its time for me to go to bed. Argh... I hate routine lifestyle. I miss school life. When someone get to work, this is the point in time where he/she will miss the school times, where no worries about money or stress over work. Even though stress, friends will always be there for you anyway.

Today, he went to Bangkok for 4 days. Oh man... Another hard time for me to pass through my time without him. Okay, i will promise myself not to miss him that much. Becos it hurts whenever I thinking of him not being by my side. I will wait for you to be back k? No matter what, I miss your hugs and kisses.

These are the photos that we took during the Zoo trip. I really and always feel treasure by him whenever Im with him. He will always be there to make me smile and laugh. No matter how stupid he's going to be, he just want me to be happy =)) Therefore my boy... I will definitely SmiLe for you. My smile belongs to you!

P.S I wont miss you anyway or anymore. =)

2008-03-29T15:26:00.006+08:00

As every second past, you're nearer and nearer home! oh I cant wait..haha its been 3 days since you left me hungrier for more =)

This's my 1st time blogging, so pardon me for the lifeless entry. Chilli crab dinner tonight, Manchester United vs Aston Villa (5-0) and of course awaiting her majesty return..what more can I ask?

I didnt know that you had so many drafts la! why never post them? let everybody read sua. Damn INTERESTING can? They're better than sky of love =p

And no, the camera girl did not reply nor send any emails.

When is zoo, sentosa, mount faber & us renting a car for the entire day?

See, I have done all the tasks you had requested me to complete

1. Blog for you
2. Check whether your results have been sent to your house (yes)
3. Check your emails
4. Take care of myself!

Am I the best? So treat me better k? haha

See ya tonight!

2008-03-22T16:16:00.006+08:00

Everything went on smoothly for me for these past few weeks. I have started working at SGS at Buona Vista. It maybe quite far from my house but still able to manage it... even though these few days I'm always getting late for work. Another 3 months to go before the contract is ended.

The movies that I watched:
- 10,000 BC (Quite a nice movie, about War and brotherhood)
- 恋空 Sky to Love (Very touching movie.. Super nice. A must watch movie!)
- Mist
- PS. I Love You (Love the movie alot!)
- 2 faces of my girlfriend (I think I'm just like girl inside the movie, who can be violent at times.. and be the other person at the next moment)

Seriously, I'm a movie lover, almost every week I have to watch one movie with HIM. =))
Anyway, my life has been quite busy for awhile. Almost every week is packed with things on. Oh man, I miss school alot, I miss Nanyang Polytechnic, I miss S.I.T Club, I miss my Excos... How much I wish everything can turn back in time and travel back.

These are some of the photos that we took in 香港茶餐厅。Muack* Love him more than anything else..

2008-01-28T22:19:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year is just next Thursday and I really very excited about it.. I really miss the 团年饭 with my whole big family. (My Ah ma, uncles, aunts, cousins, Daddy, Mummy and brother...) It gonna be fun and lots of things to talk to one another. I miss the "Lao Yu Sheng". No matter what, a new year has began and I really thanks God for blessing me with such wonderful people around me, fill me with loves and concerns. Especially that someone special who has come into my life... I would cherish the time we spent together. =)) I miss our chocolate milk time!!

1. Thank you to my friends and family who have always been with me, standing with me no matter what. Thanks you, Nicky and Bro Gene.. You two had brighten up my days and I really very happy to know you two great person more in BiTC. Appreciated!

2. Thank you to xiaowei who will be there for me, no matter rainy or sunny. Great to have you as my friends =)

3. To my S.I.T Club people, you guy are really great, no regretted in knowing you guy and working with you guy. In my <3, you all are always be my family, my closest...

4. To my family and MUM. Thanks for the 19 years.. throughout these years, i really enjoyed my time with my family. Even though my mum is super 'naggy' at times, I <3 her anyway, cause she's my MUM.. =) Of course, I love my dad too... actually I <3 my whole family. *MUACK*

5. And now, I still got someone special in my life... a person to take care of me and love me as much as my family love me. =)) In order for you not to feel bad, love me more k? I know you will.. hehe...

6. Lastly, I love my God... Always

So what regret do I have in life. NONE!

2008-01-23T10:44:00.000+08:00

回来新加坡有一段日子了。。。对北京还有一点的思恋。。好想那里的朋友，那里的生活，自由自在。。根本没有烦恼。可是我会根想恋这里的人和新加坡的好。
我不知道几时开始有了这样的想法。。我真的再一次的感受到爱人的滋味，已被人爱。我真地爱上了他。。。深深的，慢慢的，不能自拔的地铺。啊！我好怕，不根真的去爱一个人，怕自己再一度受到丧害。如何是好？我好怕再摔倒，好怕爱他太深。。我应该放手吗？我应该忘了他吗？

被爱的感觉是甜甜的
爱人的滋味也是甜甜的
好想和你一起度过一切
好想和你在一起
简简单单的
不知几时我的愿望能实现？

2008-01-10T10:01:00.000+08:00

It has been a year since the last open house of Nanyang Polytechnic. I really miss those time where all of us stay till late time together and doing props and preparing for a big event. But I know that I could never turn back the time but only treasure every moment I have with my excos and family...

Yesterday, I just talked to Fawze about it, about the junior getting ready for the open house.. How much I wish i will there to see..

Just a flashback of what we had done during the Open House 2007 for School of SIT.

Playing CS

S.I.T Robert!

SmiLe or Sad?

Cookie baked by us =))

Milo Truck

Cheer~

Best Buddy~

2008-01-08T09:46:00.000+08:00

What Drives Your Life? What is the purpose in your Life?

Here are the 5 most common ones that drive people's life:

1. Many people are driven by guilt
They allow their past to control their future, running away from regrets and hiding their shame. We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.

2. Many people are driven by resentment and anger
They hold on hurts and never get over them. Resentment always hurts you more than it does the person you resent.

3. Many people are driven by fear
Fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends for you to be. You must move against it with weapons of faith and love. Always forgive the person who hurt you. Because those who have hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you now unless you hold on to the pain through resentment.

4. Many people are driven by materialism
Their desire to acquire becomes the whole goal of their lives. Possessions only provide temporary happiness.

5. Many people are driven by the need for approval
Peer pressure, always worried by what others might think. Unfortunately, those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it. One key to failure is to try to please everyone. 'No one can serve two masters'

So how many people on earth do really find their goal in their life? What is their purpose on the earth? Have you ever come across this question in your mind and ponder on it? Think carefully before the time is running out...

2007-12-17T08:22:00.000+08:00

This is the 4th week since I first reached Beijing.. Back to lab again and start to do my work~ still have alot of stuff to rush and do even though there isn't any time limit to it...

Over the weekend I have alot of fun and enjoyment with the guys (Lionel, AO, Alvin, Aaron, Jia Hao, Jim, Julian and KK)... Going out with Lionel's aunts was really great.. Don't need to worry about anything and all that we do most of the time was to eat eAT EAT...

On Saturday, we met his aunts at WangFuJing around 11 plus and went to one of the Dim Sum restuarant which we need to walk around 15 minutes from the MRT station. The lunch was really great and I really miss the Dim Sum in Hong Kong and Spore.

A table full of Dim Sum... Yummy ~

Here I go...

One last photo at the restaurant

After lunch, we went to the Hong Qiao Shopping Mall for a walk... Have fun with the guy, shopping around and some of them bought the helicopters at the Toy City. (Big one for $240 while small one is $70) Actually wanted to get some pairs of converse shoes but thanks to Jim... He said that the Converse was too fake, the cutting was worse than the Silk Road. So in the end, I got myself a cardigan for around $60 RMB which I think was quite expensive. But I got it in the end.. Haha..

As for dinner, we went for Beijing Roast Duck... we ordered two dish of roast ducks and some side dishes. Now then I know, there were 3 ways of eating the Beijing Roast Duck and really the duck's skin melt in my mouth with the sugar...

Beijing Roast Duck... My 3rd time eating it during these 4 weeks

All of us were being amazed by the Laser which can make 5 different images.

Act Cute~ Guys...

After the dinner, we went to one of the pub along Hou Hai... The place was really looked like Clark Quay... With a frozen river along the street of pubs...

The night life in Beijing

The place we went...

This was the pub we went to... Even though the place is abit small but its cosy where we can really be ourselves without worries. Sing songs, Cheer and drink... ~ Love it man... =)) Btw... Julian aka Panda is a very good singer... Hidden talent.. haha. Friend!

One last photo at the pub outside... Really thanks Lionel's aunts for this wonderful day.. I really enjoyed myself and had the chance to see how Beijing Life is really liked. Thank you aunts if you ever see this =))

2007-12-12T08:45:00.001+08:00

Once again... I never slept well the last night. I dont know why but just cant sleep well. I feel troubled and I dont know what to do... Who will be there to guide me and hold me on?

2007-12-06T12:14:00.000+08:00

It has been the 2nd week since I just reached Beijing. Everything went on smoothly, still manage to sleep well every night. This trip to Beijing for 2 months is really a memorable experience for me and I really enjoyed myself throughout whole of this. Play, eat and even work together. 39 people working as one is quite hard sometimes but I know that we gonna know one another even better by the end of these 2 months.

These 2 weeks had been a fun and enjoyable weeks for me... Alot of things is happening around me... However, i realised something was that when you are overseas and fall sick, you will miss home alot and that happened to me. I miss my home like crazy.. ~ Anyway, time flies.. soon I will be back to Singapore and I will start to miss Beijing again. Isn't it contradicting?

Anyway... I will try to enjoy myself as much as I can and work hard at the same time.

2007-11-12T13:49:00.000+08:00

This week is the last week that i will be working in IBM as an intern. It has already been 11 weeks... isn't that fast? Now only left 13 days before i flying off to Beijing. 我好不舍得。。不想离开我的家，不想离开新加坡。。这两个月不知要何度过？

Maybe this is going to be a test for me... for me to test myself to learn to be independence and strong. I really hope these 2 months will fly pass quickly. Because I know I will miss my home alot.

Be strong... May

2007-10-09T10:57:00.000+08:00

Now in the office... trying to distract abit. These few days, I couldn't take my mind off on 'Bleach'. I think Im too involoved into it and seriously, i don't know why 'Bleach' keep popping up in mind. Help me~~

How much i wish I was a shinigami too... where got my own Bankai and fighting against the Hollow and the Arracan.. Wuhaha... Okay.. Im think i too far from there.

From Bleach... These are the top two of my favourite Shinigami. I really like the fighting spirit of them. 'Never give up' and trying to beat the enemies... How much I wish i will have the spirit of them and fight till the end. Another thing about them is their coolness...

1st: Ichigo Kurosaki

2nd: Hitsugaya Tōshirō

Have time, go and watch Bleach.. Im sure you will be like me.. Into it... totally amazed by them, their character.

2007-09-20T09:54:00.000+08:00

Now sitting in the office... Alot of things went through my mind just now. Finally, I realised I really miss my secondary school alot and the teachers. I really miss the fun time we had and the captain ball session after school with a bunch of them. Really lots of memories... How much I wish I could stop the time and turn back. How much I wish I will never get old and time will never fly. These are all my wishing thinking.

Just now, looking through my secondary school website and trying to spot my favourite teacher. Yes... I spotted it. Just sent him an email,10 minutes ago.. really hope he will reply my mail. Really... I hope. No matter what, I may not have the power to turn the time back but I know I have the will to contact back the one that I once missed. Especially, Mr Phua...

I don't know why, but I can consider him as my favourite teacher throughout my life. He is not just a teacher to me but really a friend, an advisor to me. He is the one who coach me and teaches me to grow up. He is the one who cracks jokes with me.. even though I like to call his nick. I really miss him. Now then I know, how much i really miss my secondary school and how long i have not been back there...

I miss you...

2007-09-13T16:30:00.000+08:00

It is already the 2nd week of my attachment at IBM. Isn't it fast?? I really can't believe time does really fly...

I feel glad to be inside the department and doing the things that i would like to do. =) Haha.. don't say much about it. Anyway, i really <3 the people in my department, they are so friendly and fun-loving. Even though two of the interns are going to leave soon.. Gonna miss you two~

No matter what, now I do really miss my club very much. I really miss the time that I spent inside the clubroom, gathering with my EXCOs and joking and have fun. Do you all know how much I really miss you all, how much I wish I got some kind of special power where I can freeze the time or turn back the time machine where there won't be any ending to our journey. Nevermind... I know I have learnt to grow up and adapt to it. I will always keep the wonderful memories with me... inside my heart... deep down.. Another thing that makes me quite upset is about the club blog... All our footsteps have been washed away.

One last word to my EXCOs...

I will miss all of you

I love all of you

I will always remember all of you

deep down inside my heart <3

2007-08-25T01:38:00.000+08:00

Im sorry my friend... I really sorry... Sorry, im not being there for you when you need me... Sorry that i never pick up that important call of yours... Sorry for the thing i have done. I really don't know what to do, I lost the word of mouth. It is rather a shocking news for me... to hear my friend's mum pass away... Why life seem like so unexpected and suddenly? Why the loved ones have to leave and say goodbye... Why cant be together forever, where the goodbye will never end? My friend no matter what, please be strong... I know you will pull through it. All i can say now is 'Im really sorry' Feel like crying now... I really feel very lost and shock when i heard this news. My friend, I know life for you going to be difficult, no matter what you still have us... and i promise i will always be there for you when you need me.. I PROMISE...!

Regret and sadness fill my heart. What can i do to fill up the space between us? what can i do to replace the time that i have lost... losing touch with you my friends... I know is all lay within me... My dear friend, i will try to cover up the gap between us... because i want you to know that 'Friend is forever and i want to be the forever friend with you...'

This is specially for Stephen... take care, my dear friend... and 2ardent and 4ardent...

2007-08-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

Finally, the last paper of examination in NYP had ended. Should it be a joy or sadness. Thinking through, leaving the school makes me upset.. is not the school that i miss, is the lecturers, my classmates (BI0501) and S.I.T club. Time has really past by very fast, sometimes is even faster than we can even take notice of it. 3 years of Poly life has almost coming to an end... Nono... i should say the study term in Poly is going to end. I will miss the tutorial lessons, practical, and lecture... Many wonderful memories... =))

Tomorrow is my oral examination. Many of the people must be thinking ' what May Wee is doing? retake Olevel Eng?' Yes, I'm retaking... And i hope that i would able to pass this time... No.. is a MUST... Everyone, please wish me good luck =)

Jia you!

2007-08-16T01:03:00.000+08:00

Studying halfway through for my Monday's paper... This thought happens to come by...

The road that we walked past, is a long long way...
looking like a journey where its never end.
We thought we will 4ever be the same,
but everything is coming to an end.
Sadness and memories filled up my mind,
thinking of the miracles that we made.
Events after events, time flies past,
now we have come by a cross junction.
Feeling lost, feeling confuse, don't know what to do,
feel like crying as we are going to apart, walking in a different directions.
But I know that the road that we walked before, the miracles that we made,
will always stay with me.
Saying good-bye is not an end,
but is the beginning of another wonderful journey which never end.
No matter what, the bond within us will continue to stay strong,
as S.I.T club will always be my home and Excos 06/07 will always be my family.

2007-07-12T00:16:00.000+08:00

It has been a busy starting week. Yesterday, just present the blogging system to Mr Law. STRESS. Haiz... why the work load will only increase and never decrease at all. I really very worried for the EAI project and my O level english. This is the 1st time i feeling this. Is like i dun even want to heard the words to be mentioned by others, it will only make me scared.... trying my best to excel in everything. Can i do it??

Last week, i just celebrate my 19th birthday. 19 years have past, going through up and down period, however all of these experiences made me the person that i am today "MAY WEE"... the wonderful memory will always stay with me forever and those who leave a footprint in my heart, i will forever remember you because you have once brighten up my life.. and thanks for being once there for me. May will appreciate it =)

On 5th July 2007, is my 19th Bday!! My classmates had prepared the cake for me, really thanks guy... =)) appreciated it.

My classmates and me at south canteen. =))

Me and xiaowei. *Twisted**

My birthday cake.. Nice?

Me eating up the strawberry. is damn sour**

After lesson, went amk hub with xiaowei... walking around and slacking around, meeting theo they all... and after that took some photos with weishan...

This is Miss Tan Wei Shan, my MisS social and welfare =))

After taking the photo at amk mrt station... we went home sweet home =))

Going home, waiting to eat dinner with my family. It maybe simple but it definitely sweet to me... Thanks for those who remember my birthday. Love you Guys...!!

2007-06-19T13:06:00.000+08:00

Day 5

Everyday once i open my eyes, i just waiting and praying for the time to fly pass quickly, waiting patiently for time to reach 9.30pm. Even though only talk to him for around 1hr, is enough for me and it really makes my day =))

Last saturday, the Excos went to code red at jurong. It really very tiring but manage to take some photos with some hosts... is really a very good experience for all of you. I really enjoyed myself and walking away with $440 each. Yeah!! Now then i truly understand, it is very different when you are filming, there are so many repeats and NGs... and somemore we had to pretend =P... BUt EnJoy!

Victory !!

me with BEN! he damn cute!!

After that, we went to jurong point for dinner. Guess what... after dinner, we went to Toy 'R' Us... We will like small kids playing around and have fun. really enjoy my time with my Excos. You all are the BEST, because all of you, my day has been brighten. Love always... Lastly present this photo, two spidermen (the good one and the bad one) =))

Guess Who?

2007-05-15T23:45:00.000+08:00

Will i miss you? =(

2007-05-10T11:12:00.000+08:00

It has been sometimes since I last blog. School started, everything is moving so fast. Now is already week 4. WooH... This will be the last term I will be studying, after that will be attachment. Still remember the day when I was in Year 1, now already Year 3. Everything is going to end soon.

Anyway, last week saturday. I had a very fun time. Actually is my first time in my life, trying out extreme water sport. Is really very VERY fun, enjoy myself much. Okay, maybe I should start off by saying how do i went for this whole trip for fun. Hahaa... actually I won one of the contest by Youth.sg. Didn't expect that i would win this contest. So in the end, I brought xiaowei with me to go and enjoy, going all the way to SAF Yacht Club.

This was my 1st time, going out on sea with a yacht. Manage to learn alot of things from the instructor. e.g how to control the yacht, setting up, prepare for the sailing. Though, a yacht may seen like very small, but it got everything in it. Yachting is enjoyment. The wind blowing against your face, the sunshine, the rainbow(unexcepted), the blue and green sea. Is really very wonderful.

After went yachting, the instructor let us try out jet ski. OHHH!!! is damn fun, danger, exciting. The instructor was the one who controlled the thing, while he ride us one by one. The feeling of it is really very "shiok" and the sea water was kept on splashing onto your face, gettting your whole self wet. Quick turn was made, going against the strong current, making the jet ski went so high up, eventually i dropped into the sea twice. =(( haha... but enjoy myself.
Anyway, their carnival is coming. I will definitly be there... Yeah... anyone interested???

In the end of the day, i brought back with me getting tanned and the wonderful memories of it. =))

2007-04-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

Feel like crying out loud... Feel like shouting my whole heart out...
Who will ever know what am I really feeling?
I having mix feeling right now... really don't know what to do...
Why am I acting in this way.. What am I thinking?
I really don't know.
I'm lost... totally lost in the big Jungle, finding my way out but i will never find it, no matter how hard I tried.
Giving up, once came into my mind... but i know i cant
Holding on down there is all i can do, trying to catch a breathe, don't ever want to think of dark side...
Now all i can do... is push forward and move on... Never ever want to give up the chance that given to me, because i know that once i lose it, i will lose it forever... ever..
Trying Hard is all i can do... now...

2007-03-29T23:29:00.000+08:00

Now in school... staying overnight for the orientation preparation. It is the first time the S.I.T. people can stay over in school.... Yeah... finally can break the barrier that has built up. I really hope that the freshmen can realli make full use of this time to do their thing and prepare for their orientation, their show.
Now the Excos are staying over to accompany the freshmen... counting down to orientation, it only leaves 3 days.... please please make full use of the time... I know you guy has put in alot of hardwork, sweat and tears in it... so give your best shot..! Ganbatak!
No matter what the senior will always behind you all, supporting you guy... you will never be alone as there will also people working as hard as you do.
This holiday is a busy holiday for me, having class chalet, coming back to school almost everyday, meeting frenz... all of these really occupied all my time..
Anyway, i really enjoy myself very much...!! =))
Sorry to those i neglected that i nv spend time with... i promise i will do it after the orientation...

2007-03-25T01:29:00.000+08:00

Just came back from chalet... have a great time with them. Enjoy myself! Haha... really miss my secondary school frenz alot... Even though is like only 3 days 2 night chalet, all we do is sleeping and stay inside chalet, the game we played is really damn fun. All the stupid things we do. Haha... will get the pic from nana asap and upload into my blog.

Time flies so fast... Have graduated from secondary sch for 3 years plus. Miss those days and have fun and joke together. No matter what, I know you guy will always in my heart.. I promise...

Found my truth self... I know what i want already and from there, I will continue to pursue my dreams.. =))

Lastly, I really want to say is that i thank those bunch of frenz that came into my life and brighten my day so much... Thank alot to Mas, Nana, Qing, Stephen, Lionel, Jack, Jui B, Jeff, Kwei and many many.. Love you guy lots lots lots!

2007-03-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

I really cant stand the internal affair within us... All i wish is all united as one. Believe in one another is all we should do... having faith is all we should have for one another.

2007-03-13T23:12:00.000+08:00

Today is the second day of proposal planning stage for the OGL 07/08... Looking at them, busy doing their proposal, rushing in lab and everyone is concentrating on the computer remind me of the past... the memory bring back. I miss the proposal planning stage.. I really miss it... So guy, please do cherish ur time doing the proposal... I know it may be tough sometimes, but when looking back at it, im sure it will make you all smile and cry, thinking of the mistakes you all keep on repeating when doing proposal...

Today, leave school quite early... went to town together with band major (uncle tim). Learn alot of things from him... Now then I know that there is alot of thing for me to learn and catch up, but my dream of learning clarinet will carry on... I won't give up so easily. Becos I have find an aim in my life that why I will live my life to the fullest to pursue my dream.. Long time nv see him, that why we spent almost 4 hours in TCC, chatting and drinking coffee... He is really a person that I look up to... so uncle tim, thanks for the coffee and the tea... =)) enjoy ur life in army... Haha...

Tomorrow will be the third day of proposal planning... Jia you!! Ganbatak!!

2007-02-28T13:29:00.000+08:00

Haha... Don't know why feel like blogging again and again... Feel excited when discussed with uncle tim about going back to sec sch band... I really miss the concert band, i miss my clarinet and i miss the fun we had last time.

Thought of going back to school and picking up music again really make my day.... I don't know why the passion for learning music is getting stronger and stronger in me. I really miss the touch of the clarinet.

Chat with uncle tim (my sec sch band major) about the band performance for the alumni, really make me very excited. Even though is like going to be 4 years never touch any instrument at all, my desire for music is always there... my dream is always there for me to pursue. My determination is getting stronger. I know what i want and what i want to become. I know my destiny, I know my way... My life is full with music...

music 4 life...

2007-02-27T15:26:00.000+08:00

Yeah!! One paper down... Left one more to go. For IT track ppl jia you leh.. I know you all still leave 2 more to go... GanBatAk...!

Just updated my blog, change the skin and add in songs... haha... proud of myself even though I quite ns in these. =) Camp eagle training is coming. Can't wait for it to come. Half of Exco's journey has gone... slowly a new patch will replace us. No matter what, i will always cherish my time with my Excos...

Jia you to those who have EXAM, let us work together towards our goals!!

2007-02-21T14:16:00.000+08:00

I realize that there are alot of dreams for me to fulfill it. But i wander if really I have the chance to go and do it, or is it just my laziness pulling me back and stop me from doing it. I really wish to pursue my dream...

Wishing upon the star...

2007-02-13T01:21:00.000+08:00

I becoming very unsure of myself, unsure the things that i need... What do I really want? Or what do i really need? I getting confused of myself. I starting to doubt myself, am I really recovered, or am I still in the middle of recovery or is it I'm the one who refuse the wound to heal and keep on hitting it...
Sorry to those who I have hurt... I know how much pain that you all suffer... I really can't continue until I found the truth me... really don't know when 'may wee' will be back...
Searching and searching...
To others, I maybe a person who full with smiles and laughes, a person that never fail to smile... but is it the real me? Where have I gone to...

Finding the truth me ... Finding the smile that I used to have ... Finding the 'May' that will never say die ...

Finding me...

2007-02-03T00:09:00.000+08:00

Thing has slowly changed around me...
Is it that, when someone grain something, they will bound to lost another thing... Is it really how the thing works? One can't be so greedy to have both things in hand. This week has been a busy week for me, lots of projects need to rush and tests... I think I am really a failure, there goes my XML practical test.. No hope in it... Sometimes, really feel like knocking my head onto the wall, why am I so stupid, always tend to forget this, forget that, when am i going to remember something... becoming really a blur 'sotong'.
Busy this week.. preparing for next week 3 presentations. Try to pull through myself, hope my team members will stand strong too.. Have faith in yourself, as I believe we will be able to pull through everything together =))

Lastly, AO... this is specially for you if you ever read my blog.. Just in an advance in wishing you a 'HapPy BirthDay'. 1 year older leh, must be more mature k? Don't fall easily, no matter what I will always be your ' hao peng you' if you ever get my meaning. Giving you all my blessing, jia you in finding your happiness..

2007-01-28T17:47:00.000+08:00

Here is some of the pictures that we took yesterday during the open House~

XW n Me doing something stupid

Here is another one!

Trying to act CuTe =x

Last Day of OpEn HoUse...

And we end the Whole event with a Cheer!

Yeah! Victory!

2007-01-28T01:08:00.000+08:00

Just came back from supper... =P I think im going fatter nowadays... haha...
Don't know why suddenly have the mood to blog.. while doing coding halfway. Maybe coding to me is a boring thing...

Today is the last day of open house. And yes, we did! we end it with a 'POP'. Everything went pretty alright today.. Excos, really thanks alot for your helps.. without you all, this open house won't be such a success.. 1st, I thank my committee memebers (Wen Tao, Merv, Fawze). You all really made a great job. =)) 2nd, to my logistic team, well done (thumb up especially for yew king), 3rd to my game department (KIMO, you're really very organized and well done!), 4th to my pub (Thank you guys, even though alot of things to do for your school, you all still have to design the poster and everything, especially my Ain =p Well done!), 5th to my cookie man, Mr Alvin Lee, without you, there wont be any nice cookie =) 6th to Wei Shan, you are really very talented in your art... Well done too! 7th to Fir, Hairul, Nasir, BK... who stay back and do props, I really proud of the robot... niCe niCe! 8th to Kamal, Eugene, XW, Jes, YC, Nick, Theo, Yani, Gladys, Cheryl, Sabby, Lynn, Zaty, AO, Chuan Lim, Faz, without you all, there wont be any open house for SIT at all...
9th to all my helper who help out, a great thank you to you all =)) (thumb up up)

There goes the closing for the last event organised by us... Even though dun feel like ending it, all the wonderful memories will be kept within me, the precious moment with you guys...

Suddenly, have alot of thoughts... actually the things i want to accomplish is alot... but don't know why there isn't motivation for me. The passion for music is always linger over there, wanted to continue with it and pursue it till a higher level and join SSB. But, realise that the dream of it is far far away... Have the heart to learn... but my capability is limited. I really admire those who able to play music, piano, violin, other instructments, always make me impressed and give me the urge to go and learn. I wanted to go University while pursuing music at the same time..

Will i ever get a chance to do?
Will i have the chance to go onto stage and perform once again?
Will my dream ever come true...?

2007-01-26T20:20:00.000+08:00

Raining outside right now... The rain came and stop, came and stop. When will it gonna to stop? Suddenly, alot of thoughts went through my mind...

Yesterday was the 1st day of the open house. Everything went on smoothly, even though there was alot of people. Running from lvl 2 to lvl 3, making sure everything was in place... Really glad that the whole Excos help out even though this week was a busy week for us as alot of projects need to be hand up. Thank Excos.. Love you guy =)) Everyone has done their best and play a role in the open house. Hope tomorrow there will be more students... Oopss... shouldn't say that, later all of us will be real damn busy...

These few days, slept very late at nights... think that my body system is going to collapse sooner or later. Yesterday, do coding till 2 something. Damn tired~ Lucky, got my coding god to help me with my coding.. Thank you, Shi Fu... without you, i gonna die man.. my project =P

Today, overslept. Shit man... really sorry about it, guy. Merv, thank and sorry that you have to settle everything yourself for today morning.

Tomorrow will be the last day of the open house and it will be the last event that we carried out as a whole Excos team. Really, start to think back of those time where we together, having fun and work at the same time... and the 1st event we had.... Miss it alot.

Let us end the last day of open house with a BANG...!! YEAH!!

2007-01-09T23:07:00.000+08:00

Finally, Im back... Hello EVERYONE!!

Through this period of my time, I learnt alot of things.. I learn how to appreciate people and how really friends and family are important in part of my life. Even though walking through this journey, I have hurt myself badly... I always have you all by my side to guide me and hold on to me... Thanks

To XW...
Yes... Im May Wee that why today I able to stand here and tell you that I will try to be independence. and also that I wont break the promise I made to you =)). I hope I have fulfilled the promise.. should have rite? Haha...

And also Thanks to those who always stand by m3.. you should know who you are... don't pretend you don't know.. Haha..
<3 U, guy always...!!

2006-11-24T16:19:00.000+08:00

May will be back soon.. still under constructing!!!